a term used in common life as synonymous with complaisance or good-breeding.
Civility is justly inculcated by didactic writers as a duty of no slight consideration. Without civility, or good-breeding, a court would be the seat of violence and desolation.
There, all the passions are in fermentation, because all pursue what but few can obtain; there, if enemies did not embrace, they would stab; there, smiles are often put on to conceal tears; there, mutual services are professed, while mutual injuries are intended; and there, the guile of the serpent simulates the gentleness of the dove. To what a degree must good-breeding adorn the beauty of truth, when it can thus soften the deformity of falsehood? On this subject we have the following elegant observations in Knox's Essays, No. 95.
"However just the complaints of the misery of life, yet great occasions for the display of benevolence and liberality do not often occur. But there is an hourly necessity for the little kind offices of mutual civility. At the same time that they give pleasure to others, they add to our own happiness and improvement. Habitual acts of kindness have a powerful effect in softening the heart. An intercourse with polished and humane company tends to improve the disposition, because it requires a conformity of manners. And it is certain, that a sense of decorum, and of a proper external behaviour, will restrain those whose natural temper would otherwise break out in acrimonious and petulant conversation. Even the affectation of philanthropy will in time contribute to realise it. The pleasure resulting from an act of kindness naturally excites a wish to repeat it; and indeed the general esteem which the character of benevolence procures, is sufficient to induce those to wish for it who act only from the mean motives of self-interest.
"As we are placed in a world where natural evil abounds, we ought to render it supportable to each other as far as human endeavours can avail. All that can add a sweet ingredient to the bitter cup must be infused. Amid the multitude of thorns, every flower that will grow must be cultivated with care. But neither pomp nor power are of themselves able to alleviate the load of life. The heart requires to be soothed by sympathy. A thousand little attentions from all around us are necessary to render our days agreeable. The appearance of neglect in any of those with whom we are connected, chills our bosom with chagrin, or kindles the fire of resentment. Nothing therefore seems so likely to ensure happiness as our mutual endeavours to promote it. Our single endeavours, originating and terminating in ourselves, are usually unsuccessful. Providence has taken care to secure that intercourse which is necessary to the existence of society, by rendering it the greatest sweetener of human life.
"By reciprocal attentions we are enabled to become beneficent without expense. A smile, an affable address, a look of approbation, are often capable of giving a greater pleasure than pecuniary benefits can bestow. The mere participation of the studies and amusements of others, at the same time that it gratifies ourselves, is often an act of real humanity; because others would not enjoy them without companions. A friendly visit in a solitary hour, is often a greater act of kindness than a valuable present.
"It is really matter of surprise, that those who are distinguished by rank and opulence should ever be unpopular in their neighbourhood. They must know the value of popularity; and surely nothing is more easily obtained by a superior. Their notice confers honour; and the aspiring heart of man is always delighted with distinction. A gracious look from them diffuses happiness on the lower ranks. But it usually happens, that an overgrown rich man is not the favourite of a neighbouring country; and it is unfortunate, that pride or inadvertence often prevent men from acting the godlike part of making others happy, even when they might do it without inconvenience to themselves."